India. A land of beauty. A land of variety. A land of diversity. A land of culture.
These are the descriptive tags associated with our country when we read about it in school books and essays as children. It's only when we open the newspapers that the uncensored truth comes before us.
Ours is the only country in which both the phrases "Beti ghar ki laxmi hoti hai" and "Beti baap ka bojh hoti hai" can go hand in hand and still be legitimate.
Let me just say that my intent is not to defame or generalize India in any way whatsoever. India is a developing country, and has it's share of negative and positive qualities. Yes, the government is invested in the development of women rights and the reform of our country.
However, in the light of certain events such as the ban of the BBC documentary India's Daughter, it's been made clear that some things need to be discussed and to be changed.
Novelist Margret Atwood once asked some males why men feel threatened by women and they replied, "They are afraid women will laugh at them." When she asked a group of women why they feel threatened by men, they said, "We're afraid of being beaten, raped and killed."
I've always been a feminist. I was a feminist before I knew what feminism meant.
By definition, Feminism is the belief that men and women should have equal rights and opportunities.
It just seemed like such a no-brainer to me even as a child that I was shocked there was an actual, separate term for it.
I mean, Human Rights existed already, so why the need of special rights for equality among men and women? Doesn't the basic Human Rights apply to both automatically, in the same measure? Or does having different sets of chromosomes and reproductive organs somehow make women less 'human' as compared to men?
Often, feminist are considered to be 'man- bashers '. You might have read the last paragraph and thought to yourself, "What in the name of God does she have against men?"
The answer is- nothing. I don't hate men. I don't think all men are rapists.
I have nothing against men, nor do I consider the male race solely responsible for the inequality and prejudice that some women face. In fact, most of the men I have come across fortunately believe in the equality of all the genders as strongly as I do.
This equality issue goes both ways- just as women have the right to be strong and independent, men have the right to be vulnerable and sensitive. It is equally wrong to teach a boy-child not to cry or show his emotions since he's "not a girl" as it is to not send a girl-child to school since she is a girl.
Every person has the right to be as and what he/she chooses to be.
This is what feminism meant to me, and I assume to most people.
Maybe that is why it was such a slap to my face when I saw the documentary and witnessed the rapist of a young girl discuss how the rape was entirely the victim's fault for having struggled against her rapists, since 'taali ek hath se nahi bajti'.
I watched in disbelief as he looked right into the camera and nonchalantly discussed in great detail the way they had inhumanly raped her; so brutally, in fact, that they could pull out her intestines.
How they dumped them and then went on to wipe the blood soaked floor and seats of the bus the next day.
All this, without blinking an eye. Without the faintest trace of guilt or remorse on his face. According to him, they gang raped a girl to the point that almost all her bodily functions stopped working in order to "Teach them a lesson."
This was a slap to my face alright, but then came Mr Manohar Lal Sharma, the defense lawyer of the 16th December gang rape case, who literally knocked me out. I seriously had to pause the video and concentrate on breathing for a moment there. Imagine my complete shock at hearing a presumably educated man (although I have my doubts there) spout such utter nonsense. Never have I been more disgusted, humiliated and scared as a women than when I heard that man, a lawyer, say "We have the best culture. In our culture, there’s no place for a woman. You are talking about man and woman as friends. Sorry, that doesn’t have any place in our society. A woman means I immediately put the sex in his eyes. "
Yes. In a land which is worshiped as 'Bharat Mata', apparently there are people who don't even consider women a part of our culture.
The harsh truth is, even as we read of the endless rape cases all over the country and even as we see the endless news about it, we subconsciously distance ourselves from such an incident. No one never considers in depth that we could be the next victim.
Even if we go no farther than the park at the front of our houses (or maybe even if we don't go out at all), even if we cover ourselves from head to toe, even if we are with someone, even if we are alone, irrespective of our age, we could be the next victim.
We are NOT safe. We are all vulnerable.
Was it really so wrong to have gone out for a movie with a male friend? This incident happened around 8:30 pm. Is it really such an unconventionally late hour?
As I finished watching the documentary, I was devastated and disgusted to my very core. I felt powerless at watching the misery of Nirbhaya's parents, who took such pains to bring her up into a beautiful and talented young woman. And the thousand upon thousand women in our country, who have fathers, brothers and relatives like these defense lawyers, whose rape cases are not even reported. People who would sooner set fire on a daughter who "got herself" raped than let her show her face in the society again.
Again, who is to blame here? And most importantly, what can be done to stop this hideous crime?
Yes, girls should learn self-defence techniques, and carry pepper sprays in their bags for protection, but aren't these solutions too short-term?
These prevention methods would not have to be taken if there was no such crime to prevent.
In a country that boasts of the grand title of "The Largest Democracy" in the world, shouldn't there be some solutions in one form or the other?
I could literally write on and on and not get to any solid conclusions.
One long range solution perhaps, I believe, could be Education.
All the accused of the 16th December came from extremely poor backgrounds. Such people have spent all their lives living in very misogynistic environments, wherein they witness their mothers beaten day in and day out; and their sisters treated as inferior to them. Their minds are molded since childhood into the idea that women are no different that animals, to be used when necessary.
This was also evident by the rapist Mukesh's statements in the documentary- his ignorant disbelief at being punished for a crime that he did not consider remotely major or relevant. For him, women have been treated as an object his entire life- and do you get punished for using an object?
It's a disgusting school of thought, but this belief is shared by many in our country.
Maybe if these people grew up in literate environment, where they were taught the basic equality among men and women and exposed to more liberal ideas since childhood, a lot of things could be different.
After all, knowledge is empowerment.
Although we have, i'm sure, a long way to go before we are able to eradicate Rape from our country, I feel that a change (however small at the moment) is coming on.
Maybe not in a very large scale, but our youth's mindsets have a wider view on topics such as equality and justice.
Our generation is more understanding towards the need for equality and respect for women, and hopefully, this knowledge will be passed down to the next generations in greater ratios. After all, as a friend reminds me, change in the mindset begins right from our homes.
Let's hope this positive development spreads throughout India till women don't feel forced to think twice about every step they take.
